maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
