I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
