HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
