I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
