Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
