You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
