dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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