come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
