oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
