Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
