Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
