i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
