I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
