Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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