Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
