pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize