Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
