she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
