dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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