im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize