Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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