im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
