Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize