Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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