I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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