oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
