I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
