my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
