I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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