I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
