I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it because I queefed?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
