Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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