the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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