My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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