K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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