i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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