There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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