I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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