Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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