I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
