Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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