I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
