When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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