If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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