maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i believe in u and ur pee
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