alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
where are my pants?
in the oven.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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