you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
