Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
