He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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