ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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