about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
