the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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