I need to stop coming to work sober
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
