i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
