Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
