Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize