I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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