I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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