I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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