no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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