it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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