remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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