don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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