they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
