There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
