if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
