He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
