I love black thongs
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize