At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
