Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
