I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
