I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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