I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
