she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
