Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
