He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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