Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
