i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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