You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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