I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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