So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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