they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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