I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
